Happy Halloween!

The Human Race

So my cousin is an astronaut. I know, really crazy. We were watching a video someone in my family emailed of him doing an interview over the phone in space the other night. Afterwards we were talking about the percentage of the human race that has ever entered space. We looked it up and did the math and it was something like .0000001% That's only the population living today, not all people who have ever lived. We also learned after researching the numbers that the total population living today is more than has ever lived due to procreation, safety and technology advancing towards the goal of living much longer. As my friend put it, "If everyone in the world wanted to hold a human skull in their hands, they couldn't." Although longevity has increased, fertility has also declined rapidly. I don't think because one can't have a child devalues their existence in any way but I did feel a sense of choseness after hearing that since I am pregnant with my second son. It isn't as much of a miracle that the child is born healthy anymore as much as he was conceived without struggle in the first place. I wish I knew more research to find out if this is a biological happening or a Godly invention. It would be devastating to think God wouldn't choose our family to procreate so I'm going to abandon the latter. What a blessing it is to raise two beautiful boys no matter if they came from my womb or not!

The Mind vs The Body

I've learned so much about the body and mind the past few months. It connects to worldview, conflicts in a lot of situations and also is so complementary when recognized appropriately. When I say mind, I mean your spirit, your psyche, which isn't the same as your soul but is related. As for the body, I mean your physical health, physical enjoyment and physical pain. So much of our daily lives revolve around those two aspects of ourselves and how we progress. Yesterday I noticed how I abandoned my body and how it affected me. I am almost seven months pregnant so nursing myself in continued good health is more important than ever. In fact, it's a common psyche problem with women as they are pregnant and the first year of the babies life to be forced to use their bodies so much because babies rely on it so much more than any other humans. You feel like a milk factory. The baby sometimes only wants the mother because of a specific smell giving no relief or break to tired arms day and night. 

I have a routine in the morning to make myself a special pregnancy tea, a wheat grass (slightly disgusting) smoothie, drink a camelback of water, eat a big breakfast and finish my chores for the morning. Instead, I slept a little longer than I needed, I ate a scoop of peanut butter, a glass of water and went on my way (while stopping at mcdonalds). Although I had been productive all morning, my body started affecting my mind. I felt depressed and easily angry over little ticks I have that I can usually avoid. It reminded me how much my psyche relies on my body to be appropriately pampered in a period of my biology that is almost solely concerned about the survival of the child I'm carrying rather than relieving anxiety symptoms from my brain. 

My point is... The mind and body work together. It isn't always an equal partnership depending on the season of life you are in. Some seasons require three hours of reading or writing music in order to progress as a human and some seasons, like where I am currently, requires me to pay special attention to every physical symptom I have, prepare for pain and address feelings quickly. So if you tend to reject the body, don't feel guilty drinking a glass of wine or eating dessert for the pure enjoyment of it. And if you tend to reject the mind, don't feel bad about sitting and listening to music for hours or working hard on a project you are passionate about instead of cooking a healthy meal. 

When we are older

I've always had dreams or visions of the future from an early age. It may sound strange and witch-like but I honestly believe it is a gift from God. Some prophesies don't seem to have a purpose and some do. I suppose some dreams haven't been fulfilled yet and some Ill never know why. Since I was around 9 years old, I started seeing the number 911 everywhere. I mentioned it to several people. I saw it mostly in my last years of high school and my early years of college and then it just stopped. And then my sophomore year of college planes crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. It still comes up on occasion. My son was born on Feb 9, 2011 (2 9 11). I also had a dream seven years ago of Jesse and I walking out of a local restaurant here in Jackson with two sons. One of them ran up to me and said "Will you tell Daddy to teach me about cars?" Then I woke up. I have one three year old boy now and another boy on the way. Those are just two of many examples of fortune telling I've had in my life. I believe God is so much bigger than we realize sometimes and he gives us more power through His Holy Spirit than we are willing to accept and admit. We have no reason to be afraid of our fate. In fact, he calls us to not be afraid of the future. Whether in the body or the mind, God infuses us with more strength and royal power than we can imagine. 

Ancestry

A few years ago when I was at the end of my pregnancy and I had nothing to do but watch Mad Men and wait, I accidentally signed up for a year subscription to ancestry.com. Since I paid for it, I figured I should use it as much as I could. Our family is very American so I found out we were related to several historical figures like Davy Crockett, Walt Whitman, and the Kennedy's. I still have all the research and I think it's so interesting to understand where your genetics come from. Although, some I've known can be a little too obsessed with the family tree and treat it like a breeding as a result of boredom. I had a friend over for lunch and it is still fascinating how people think about other people here in Jackson. I just wish I could understand how people here think that thinking a certain way about race is ok. So much of how we think determines how we choose to live, who we choose to live with and who we choose to avoid. There is this strange fear of different looking people around here. It's like everyone is still stuck trying to keep their family breed consistent, fresh and pure. It seems to be a subconscious survival mode some just can't update to 2014. Whatever it is, I'm beginning to feel like it isn't something people here are doing on purpose or thoughtlessly but an untrained psychological response to modernity. Segregation is still present without laws enforcing it. Our undeveloped minds which have been void of a software update have chosen a route seperating ourselves from those who aren't like us and the longer different people aren't sought, the more different we become and the less likely we can find commonality. We are developing two towns in one city. I'm not sure of a solution yet but I do know that for the most part, humans try to do the right things first for their family, then if they have room, for their neighbor. Sometimes the attempt to do the best thing is done the worst way. Intentions matter but thoughtfully researched intentions bring results. 

Biblical shopping

At this point in our lives, we don't have a budget that is so strict that I have to get my calculator out while I'm at the grocery store and I don't have a giant coupon book. That doesn't mean I can justify buying whatever we want whenever we want. I started a Sunday night tradition of shopping for all necessities. Jesse is usually home on Sundays so I can shop in peace without a three year old asking for this and that. It also saves time so I only go once a week and I can go to the family dollar for anything else last minute we may want (like ice cream!) I also update my grocery list every day to make sure I don't forget anything. I look at my calendar for any outside purchases as well like birthday gifts or items for picky eating guests. I discovered the Kroger app which has a list option and it categorizes my items for me so I'm not traveling all over the store. It also has coupons you can load onto your card. For other normal items, I try to purchase in bulk at Target if they have it. I purchased 72 rolls of toilet paper for $14! Other items that's always a good idea to buy in bulk are pet food, diapers, soap, personal huge in items and storage items like ziplock bags. 

I believe this falls into a lifestyle a modern proverbs 31 woman would have. I have been studying the pioneer woman and the proverbs 31 woman this semester as part of my graduate school completion. As I've studied scripture, this woman always plans ahead, always has enough, is always prepared, provides for those who help, and provides for her family as well as works and earns money for herself and family. This daily and weekly lifestyle I have chosen in regards to planning my trips, always having enough for a week to a month, taking care of guests that help us emotionally and physically and also planning it accordingly saves me time, money and allows me to focus on my job teaching and being a student the rest of the week. 

Holly Springs

We are headed to Holly Springs, MS to watch our friend's family race at a show. Somehow during such a schedule-packed season in our life, we are still able to take an overnight trip to see one of Emery's favorite things. We were at the line in Chicfila to grab some late lunch on the way and I had a flash back of just Jesse and I in our old faded red/pink CR-V the first year we moved to Jackson. It's interesting that sometimes life moves just slow enough to not see how much life has changed from that to sitting in a big truck with a precious healthy 3 year old boy in the back waiting for ice cream (prize for poo pooing in the potty). I appreciate what our hard work has rewarded and especially what The Lord has given us. Thank you God for your grace and mercy on the Hornbeaks. 

Life overload

I've been thinking a lot about the implications of an overloaded schedule. My personal schedule is border line overloaded considering I'm 26 weeks pregnant and I need 8-10 hours of sleep and adaquate rest to balance the activity I do. I preached to my college students about this yesterday and I was surprised to hear their thoughts. One said she was relieved to hear that work, work, work isn't always to most successful element of a lifestyle. She hears quite the opposite from other professors. Of course we should all be eager workers but there comes a point when you are only one person and committing to too much produces unthoughtful outcomes, a lack of presence and your body physically will shut down. I've seen it happen to many friends. There isn't a shortage of workers here in Tennessee. I'd much rather have a lazy student than an over scheduled student. I can't teach an overwhelmed student's brain but I can push/kick a lazy student into something more. It's all about pacing yourself. I'm doing my best to pace myself so the enormous amount of responsibilities that come my way are dealt with on a daily bases instead of all at once. I recommend the "way of life" app. It has helped me break down all those things daily so I can remember to spend 15 min on this and that, which turns into almost 2 hours by the end of the week. If you are over scheduled, stop it! Simplify. Get someone to clean your house and don't feel guilty about it. Don't take away family and friend time, you need that. Sleep longer so you are more productive and be present when you do work. Take it easy you workaholics!