Emery meets Greenfield

I suppose most old houses fall apart, get torn down or just become uninhabitable eventually but it doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye to a structure you have endless memories with. My husband's family's house was purchased by a church several months ago and it has come time to move all the precious furniture his grandad built along with other sentimental things. For Jesse and his Dad it is a memory but for little Emery, it's brand new. Instead of taking photos of things I thought were interesting, I followed Emery around to see how he explored the country. Here is what he found.

Ash Wednesday and Happy Birthday Grandaddy

If Grandaddy were alive today, I believe he would be 98 years old. He died September 2007. He always mentioned his birthday being on George Washington's birthday but I never thought about it until today that on some years it fell on Ash Wednesday. It became special to me because my birthday sometimes fell on Easter. The old church calendar celebrates Ash Wednesday as being the last day before Lent. Lent is a time where we sacrifice a little or a lot as a symbol of Christ's sacrifice for us. Easter is the last day of Lent where we all gather and celebrate Christ's sacrifice and rising from death to pay for our sins. My Grandaddy sacrificed a lot not only our family but his brothers, sisters and parents growing up. He quit school when he was in the sixth grade to help his parent's on the farm which, if I'm not mistaken, was around time of the great depression. He never went back to school but married and raised four children, owned a business, owned a large farm, worked as a tobacco farmer, was a landlord, raised cattle, provided a car and a college education for all of his children and more. He sacrificed a lot to provide for all of us. And because of his wise decisions, he is still providing for us even five years after his death. He has always been described as a quiet, small but strong man. He complained very little. He wasn't frightened by much and if you genuinely needed help, he would most certainly help you. He sought the opportunity to sacrifice so we were less likely to suffer when he was gone. The day he died, I was with him. I left before he actually passed but I remember knowing for certain he was going very soon. He had a stroke and couldn't pronounce anything correctly when I saw him so most of what he was saying I couldn't understand. Although, I could see in his face how earnest he was. He was trying to say his goodbyes and trying so hard to tell me he loved me. I just remember how important it was for him that I was left with that. He loved all of us. Our church celebrates Ash Wednesday with a service and at the end we all have black dust smeared on our foreheads into a cross. When they smear it, they say, "Remember you were made from ashes and will return to ashes" Even memories on earth will go away. My grandaddy's memory will pass eventually but his soul lives forever with Christ. Happy Birthday Grandaddy. Miss you. See you soon.

Baby Drums, Docs and more

While the three of us were in Nashville, Jesse wanted to visit his second favorite drum shop where he purchased Emery's birthday gift...a miniature drum set. It's really cute because it's a actual real drum set just really small! He loves it. He knows exactly what to do with it. He crawls up to it, grabs a stick, puts it in his hand the correct way and goes crazy! Since the holidays Emery has been sick with mostly a runny nose, cough and a few times had a fever. I went to a couple of pediatricians who saw him for five minutes and each time prescribed him several antibiotics. Viruses have been going around so I always assumed that's what it was but by the time February came around and he was still not well I looked into it more. I talked to a friend of mine who had their kids tested through biofeedback and had great results. It's a fancy machine that reads radio frequencies. Everything on earth has a unique frequency and this machine reads human frequencies and records what is going on in our bodies. I took Emery a week or so ago and found out he is highly allergic to cows milk. Not only that but he's also slightly allergic to every other milk except for goats milk and rice milk. I had a feeling something was going on with milk and this confirmed it. Ever since I've given him goats milk and avoided several other things his runny, stuffy nose is gone, his wet cough is gone, his cheeks aren't rosy, his happiness is back...he is so much better! I can even tell a difference when I accidentally give him something on the list of sensitives. Some of the information the machine was reading on him was so specific and things only I would know about him. I went back for myself and it was even more impressive how much it read about my health and affirmed issues I have. The ladies that run it are very informative and give really good advice. It was more thorough than any doctor's appointment I've ever been to. Move over clinic, I've got something better! I have been reading this book called Radical Homemakers. The first part is a little repetitive but overall it's great. The author herself escaped a fast paced career path for a farm lifestyle in rural New York state. She explains how our culture has tricked us into thinking our lifestyle should be work, consume, work, consume. I can think of a few families myself who live to pay the bills and they don't think there is a way out. There's no other choice but for both husband and wife to work. Or if you don't work outside your dwelling, you're lazy. But there is a way of life that doesn't need so much and is more freeing. There has been a lot of transition from the homemaker 100 years ago to the homemaker. Sadly it has developed into a meaningless daily life of being a chauffeur and consumer. This is basically as far as I've gotten in the book... I agree with most of the ideas she has and it makes me want to inherit knowledge that our great grandmothers had as homemakers. I'm still deciding but I just don't think I'm the type of person who can work at home all the time but I also don't think I'm the type that can work full time either. A lot of skills we should know like making broth from chicken bones, gardening and canning fresh produce for the winter has escaped this generation. At our new house we have a large, flat, sunny backyard. And I may or may not have a garden by this summer:) I'll eat veggies and tators any day over take out!

Celebrating 31 years

So after Joy's birthday, Emery's birthday, Emery's birthday party, Valentine's Day we finally get to Jesse's birthday. Bless him, we are all celebrated out by the time Feb 15 gets here. When I was "with child" a lot of people commented on how Jesse's birthday will get forgotten when Emery got here because my due date was Valentine's Day. Thankfully he decided to come a little early to give about a week in between to focus on both of them. I believe that scripture teaches us to make your husband the most important person in the family. It makes sense because if Jesse is successful and taken care of, Emery will be well taken care of. There is nothing more important than a father, son relationship especially while Emery is young and I strive to nurture that relationship however I can. Therefore, as a representation of that thought, I made it a goal to keep his birthday just as special as it has always been. I made him a donut with candles in it that morning and gave him this coffee kettle that brews coffee on the stove. Last night, Jesse was scheduled to play with Joe (The Kernal) so Lisa graciously volunteered to make him a cheesecake. We all sang him happy birthday and he blew out the candles in between songs. Today we are on our way to Nashville to eat at his favorite restaurant, Burger Up, shop for some fancy jeans, coffee, books and a date with his friend Jonny. Tomorrow we are going to Atlanta to grab a truck full of items from Ikea for his showroom and our new house. So Jesse is sorta getting a much deserved birthday weekend;) Love u Jesse!

Celebrating One Year

Due to poor planning on my part I had to pull some strings and get my sons birthday party located elsewhere! Thankfully the Neely House across the street was available. Emery was a bit fussy because he was so tired but over all had a good time. Hey it's his party and he can cry if he wants to. He loved getting mostly naked so he could dig into his cake and get as messy as he'd like! I'm glad I took the unwrapping gift part out of the party. I would have felt bad if he was ill receiving gifts. And we were able to raise $200 for IOI. Before the party Lisa pampered us with a Valentines brunch that was fantastic. She is so thoughtful. I love crock pots. All of the family came over to eat dinner together, watch the history channel and open gifts.

Food For All: Dinner Co-op

Last night we had our usual food for all. It is a food co-op that has been so valuable in our family. We all love to eat well but eating well can be time consuming and expensive. At least I don't fancy cooking so much. My friend Lisa has been so detailed and careful about how everyone feels which at first I thought she was being silly but I'm really glad we put a lot of thought into organizing. Our friendships are precious and people can get their feelings hurt or be overwhelmed easily. The hosting days can be a lot but it's worth it to only have to cook a full meal every two weeks! It is so great i wish others would start their own as well. It really builds community and I think we would agree that we could consider all of us our best friends now that we eat together as much as four days a week and sometimes see each other on the weekends. Here's how it works: First we needed to find a group of 22-28 people that lived fairly close, had similar meal expectations and could handle the schedule. Our group has 25 people in it. Some are students and some are families. To make it fair, we paired students with families so they bring a side dish or something substantial enough to count as one third or one fourth prep. We do have one group who are all students and they take it to whoever volunteers their house for hosting. There is a website called takethemameal.com where we all sign up for 3 meals within 6 weeks at a time. We can choose any day and write what we are going to make to avoid us having Mexican or something every night. Two fridays during the six weeks are potlucks. We eat every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. If we don't plan on coming, we tell the host on our Facebook group wall or we can bring to-go containers and take it home to our family or eat it later. It's great because we eat healthier, there is portion control, we spend more time with friends, it teaches our kids to serve, it gives us a break from cooking all the time, we all eat out less, it saves money, it saves time and I'm pretty sure all of us are experts at planning dinner parties now:) Joy's birthday was Wednesday, so we went to Memphis to eat at "The Elegant Farmer" where they had regional and local food. One thing that is a minor drawback about our food co-op are our attitudes toward food have become quite snobby. Just driving by Wendy's sorta makes me sick to my stomach! At the restaurant I was very pleased with their catfish that was (big surprise!) not fried, pan seared, with a sweet homemade sauce, with summer greens and tomato basil farm raised dressed eggs. We went to Lisa's for some Alice made homemade ginger ale and chocolate mini cakes with hot fudge and raspberries Lisa made. Yummmmm

Happy Birthday Emery!

Yesterday was my "town day". It's the day of the week I combine all of my errands into one day. Since Emery's birthday was yesterday I decided to keep my original chores and errands because he loves seeing people. He got a lot of birthday wishes One of our stops was the bank where he got a birthday sucker. I can't wait for his party tomorrow! You're invited!

Hospital Almo: Hand Food Mouth

So since Saturday Jesse has Hand Foot Mouth. It sounds way worse than it is. It has been going around Jackson through kids mostly. Who knows how he got it but when I came home after hearing he felt bad, I took his temp and as soon as he mentioned his feet were itchy I just knew that's what it was! I sentenced him to the bedroom for the entire day Saturday and he never left the bedroom except when he absolutely had to. When he did he had to wash his hands and face like crazy. And no touching allowed! It's only spreadable through snot, saliva and poop. I posted a photo of Emery at the baby gate blocking him out of our room. Jesse looks like a little animal in a zoo! I'm happy to say Emery and I haven't gotten it yet. Emery just has a cold. He left the house to play a show in Memphis tonight which is the first time he's been out of the house. I'm guessing he's wearing a bandana or something haha Apparently after the bumps appear (which was yesterday) it isn't terribly contagious but we are going to play it safe. I mean if we get it we get it. We won't die. Just be itchy! The fever ends after the first day so he's fine. Yesterday I changed the sheets on Emerys bed and Jesses bed so many times I had 11 loads of laundry to do! That includes all of this past week's dirty laundry. I have a day of the week for every chore and yesterday was laundry day. I decided it would take me so long to do laundry at home I put it all in my car, strapped Emery to me in my carrier and spent the afternoon at the laundromat! About $16 and 3 hours later, it was all done and folded! I don't have a large family, obviously, and I don't have plans to but I'm obsessed with organizational strategies of larger families. I mean I can't really just do stuff and expect it all to eventually get done even with just two people to take care of. I have to plan things now versus not really before little e came along. I haven't read through the book but one thing the author of "large family logistics" talks about is how traditional, conservative women organized their week before the Industrial Revolution. One day would be for baking, one for sewing, one for laundry, etc. Mine is: Monday-laundry day Tuesday-clean day Wednesday-work day (photo editing stuff) Thursday-market day (groceries, errands, etc) Friday-organization and service day Saturday-free when not shooting Sunday-Lords day I know, I'm sorta dorky. What's even more dorky is on some nights I get excited to get ahead start on the next day so I don't have to do as much later. It has helped a lot because sometimes I see the laundry piled up on Saturday and it doesn't bother me. I just think, well, it will have to wait until Monday because tonight is for ordering pizza and watching a movie!

My life with Postpartum Depression

Just a few weeks after Emery was born I understood that I probably had postpartum depression. I didn't get treated for it until he was seven months old. There were several reasons why I refused to get help. I kept feeling a little better every day. Being the optimist, I valued those good days too much. When I went back to my birth control, Mirena, I felt a lot better as well. I later found out that the same horomone, progesterone, that are in anti-depressants are also in the Mirena. Although, it wasn't enough to replace all the progesterone my body had lost. I'm also so weary of the pharmacy. It didn't make sense to me that such a natural activity like delivering a child and caring for it would require drugs that encouraged mental stability. Lastly, the issue of the mind can be mistaken for an issue with the heart. I wasn't sure if my mind was sick or my heart was sick. I want to be transparent and honest with you in hopes that it may help you or someone else. I think so many people feel ashamed to talk about any sort of mental illness. The symptoms are so personal and so effective. I read somewhere that it's almost impossible to recall a moment of physical pain and remember what it felt like. Although, in my experience emotional pain is very memorable. Emery will be a year February 9th, and I'm just now feeling like myself again. 2011 was an exciting year, but also the most difficult. Any sort of depression should be considered a serious condition. With that said, it is my responsibility to become an advocate to helping others who have to deal with it or will deal with it by sharing my experience. I did have a lot of complications after Emery was born. Like many, I had multiple problems with nursing. When Emery was seven and eight months old, I got a break from any issues, but besides that, none of those problems ever really resolved. I'm thankful I have friends who are supportive of breast feeding. I'm certain Emery is healthier. I can't say I really enjoyed it. I wish I had. To be honest, after ten months when I decided to wean him, I was quietly celebrating! Before I became pregnant, I weighed 117. At full-term I weighed 157. At Christmas time when Emery was ten months, I weighed 108. By then, I was advised to stop breast feeding to improve my own health. Emery also had this horrible condition called reflux when he was born. It's basically heart burn. For an infant to have constant heart burn is brutal. For seven long weeks, Emery was usually sleeping, eating or crying. And sometimes crying and eating at the same time. There were several times I would hallucinate hearing Emery cry even when he wasn't. Those seven weeks, every morning waking up to Emery screaming after two hours of sleep at a time I'd give myself a pep talk. "You can do this. First, stand up. Then walk to his room....." I know it sounds pitiful that I had to tell myself to do this simplest things. Fortunately, I was granted the wisdom to take him to the chiropractor to realign his spin that had been manipulated from being pulled during labor. The spin that was out of alignment was affecting his central nervous system which affected his digestion, causing immature valves. It only took two adjustments before Emery was a completely different person. I never thought about hurting Emery. I know that is the scariest symptom you'll ever read. I had a hard time trusting myself even though I didn't have any desire to hurt anyone, much less my beautiful baby. An article I read about it put me at ease and I hope it will you also. It basically said statistically very very few women actually hurt their children with this condition. The worst thing I thought about was putting Emery in his crib at night, getting in my car, getting a hotel room and staying there for as long as I needed to without telling anyone where I went. I did contemplate hurting myself a couple of times, but talked myself out of it. A friend of mine suggested I draw which was relieving. It makes complete sense to me now why anyone would want to hurt themselves. There isn't any visual reference the pain you feel inside. No one would recognize the craziness you feel and at times you feel like no one believes you or would believe you. You wish that you had a large gash in your leg or something so someone would make attention to take care of you. You feel totally out of control and there is a huge need for someone else to take control. When Emery was seven months, I went to the midwife who diagnosed me with postpartum depression and gave me a low dose of Zoloft. Supposedly, it takes about 2 weeks to really experience an effect of the drug. About ten minutes after I took the first pill I felt better. The drug didn't make me feel normal again, it just calmed me down. I felt like a zombie at times. It made me extremely tired. I slept every chance I could get. I'm forever in the mercy of the photography clients I had in 2011. I just couldn't make my work a priority. I hated the fact that I couldn't respond the way I wanted to and deliver what I timely promised. I knew I had to make mothering and getting myself better my priority and if I had any more energy and time left, I'd invest it in photography. I made it a point to give myself enough energy and creativity to capture wedding days and other events I couldn't replace. Although, my post-production work suffered the most. I can't say for sure what causes postpartum depression but from my research I've concluded that at least part of it has something to do with genetics and sleep deprivation. There has to be something that happens in us when we don't sleep enough and never catch up. Just like food, we need sleep and if we don't get enough, our bodies suffer. Mothers, including myself, put so much on ourselves and make the mother's body ill. I'm going to arrogantly say that I feel like I've done mostly by best and I'm proud of myself for what I've accomplished and gotten through the past year. I have a sweet, beautiful, healthy little boy who is developing lovely to show for it. I really believe God blessed me a strong mind. Jesse and I have conquered delivering an eight pound baby, working through nursing problems, getting through reflux, postpartum depression, trees falling, major home repairs, car wrecks, five cars, tax issues, money issues, loosing a job, starting our own business, lost sleep, back issues, a new house, and a new renovation. Not to mention holding a crying baby when I didn't want to, feeding a crying baby when I didn't want to, changing the baby when I didn't want to.... If we can just get to February 9th, the rest of our lives will be easy right? I can't say for sure that my condition has cured itself, but the past few days I've felt more like myself than I have since Christmas 2009. I enjoy Emery so much more. I've weaned myself off Zoloft. As of a week ago I haven't taken it. It's been so long, I couldn't even remember what it was like to feel like me again! I don't think it's a coincidence that Emery hasn't slept through the night until exactly the same time I started to feel better, which was about a week ago. I'm reading the second book of Baby Wise, and the first chapter talks about how intuitive babies are to their parents. Probably the worst part of all this is the thought of doing it all again for another baby. There's no reason to make a decision about having more children now, but I want to make sure that however many children we do have, they will all be very well taken care of. I'm so thankful for my family, especially Jesse. Bless him, I've been rather difficult for him the past year and he still loves me. Bless my parents who will probably still insist on taking care of us when they are 110. Bless Jesse's parents who have on so many occasions given me a restful weekend. Bless my brides who have given me so much mercy. Bless everyone I love.

Therapy Weekend

Jami had a briday party this weekend. I'm not sure if people are allowed to hae that much fun? Plus thanks to my lovely parents, I got to take two afternoon naps in a row! I'm the luckiest girl ever. This morning I could barely hold my eyes open and I kept dosing off and waking up every now and then to make sure Emery was ok. He played by himself for at least an hour when I woke up and didn't hear or see him. When I sat up, I saw him with about a third of my blanket he had pulled off of me, in the floor taking a nap! He normally will whine at me and rub his eyes to communicate nap time, but for some reason he didn't this time. He managed to find a pacy somewhere and put himself to sleep as close as he could get to me. The. sweetest. baby. ever.

Experimenting with foamy soap

Eating Hot Dogs in Hillsboro Village

Kitchen Remodel

When it comes to anything involving wood and tools, Jesse is really quick and accurate. If there was a show for wood hoarders, Jesse would be on it I think. We have so much wood with intentions on building something with it It always amazes me how fast he can get things accomplished. He has already connected the cabinets in the corner, added another one by the stove, put an entire set of cabinets around the fridge, enlarged a doorway, cut out and trimmed a large long interior window. My mom and dad came to see the house and help with some construction and cleaning. My dad helped with the cabinets around the fridge, changed the door handle on the fridge, took the hardware off and filled in the holes. My mom helped watch Emery while I got all of the dishes and such out of the cabinets they left. It came furnished by the way. She also helped me price things for the sale and clean a lot! I'm so thankful for them. Emery will always be taken care of but with everything they do for us it allows us to really take care of our community as well! We put Emery in his wagon he got for Christmas and took a walk around our new neighborhood. The biggest reason why we moved to this house is because of the 20 plus children Emery has to grow up with in the neighborhood. Most of them go to the same church we go to. Community will always be a priority. If we decide to put Emery in public school, we are walking distance away from both the elementary and middle school.

Nighty Please

So one more thing about little Emery... Are you tired of hearing about him yet? I've been giving him a bottle and rocking him to sleep in the new mod Eams rocking chair Jesse bought. It has been very successful. Maybe it's because before my arms would get so tired holding him while swinging I put him down too fast. Anyways, so his ritual of crying when he's ready for bed has been different too the past couple of nights. Last night, he went in the hall in front of his room, looked at me, put his pacy in his mouth and laid down! So cute! Tonight he crawled slowly to where I was sitting on the couch, pointed to his pacy that was slightly out of his reach, I gave it to him, he put it in his mouth and put his little cheek on the couch. I laughed and he giggled back at me! Also today I taught him how to hide his face with his hands and play peekaboo. If he gets any cuter I may just eat him for breakfast.

Our house before reno

Memphis

I went with my friend Courtney to Memphis today to help her and her mom with one of her boutiques downtown where I discovered a very handmade bound book Courtney had created for an assignment in middle school. It was so funny reading the history of the town she lived in using pre-teen humor. I just had to have at least one photograph it made me laugh so hard. Courtney has a little boy Sam who, in my opinion, completely terminates Emery in the cuteness category. We had a mostly enjoyable time together about girl things, drinking a lot of coffee and hanging out with sweet Sam. I love spending time with her because I never feel like I'm in an interview. We just spend time together and enjoy the present.